Shelter
I guess you don't need it
I guess you don't want me to repeat it
But everything I have to give I'll give to you
It's not like we planned it
You tried to stay, but you could not stand it
To see me shut down slow
As though it was an easy thing to do
You left me heartbroken
But not until those very words were spoken
Has anybody ever made such a fool out of you
It's hard to believe it Even as my eyes do see it
The very things that make you live
Are killing me
Listen
When all of this around us'll fall over
I tell you what we're gonna do
You will shelter me my love
I will shelter you
Cruise!
I have been busy. And stressed. Henry had to go into the hospital after ingesting poison. He had chemical burns in his throat and mouth. He was there for three days (or $900). He came home yesterday and he's starting to eat again but he makes the most awful croaking noise when he tries to meow, I still have to give him water with a syringe, and he's on 4 different medications but he's alive! And still cute :) He also has some staples in him we have to get taken out, from the pain patch, and a bunch of bald spots where they had to shave him to give him iv's. I didn't know you could get blood work and oxygen for a cat but apparently you can.
I spent last weekend in Chicago, which was fun. Aaron and I had an interesting encounter at the sex/head shop. And then just the head shop. We ordered brick oven Painful pizza from this place and it was the best pizza I've ever had. Well, tied with buffalo pizza from Hopkins Deli. Mmmm
My parents are going away this weekend and again in December. I HATE being home alone, its really scary. I guess that's why they make alarm systems.
I'm going on a cruise in December! A cruise! I am soooo excited. The bahamas, turks, caico islands. Heard of one of those places. Hopefully I'll get a tan and get to relax and have fun with my friends. Can't wait.
It's Saturday. I could go to a Halloween party tonight but I think I might stay in and do homework and relax. I had a very long week. I need to relax.
Stupid life actualizations.
If I kiss you where it's sore, will you feel better? Will you feel anything at all?
This Friday I have a flight out of BWI to O'Hare in Chicago. I can't wait, I'm so excited, it's going to be
so much fun! And Aaron's foot works so yay, even better!
I was in a car accident on Friday. I was going down Pratt, going about 35-40 in the far right lane on a one way street and a guy pulls out of a side street
right into the side of my car. He was clearly at fault and we pulled off, called a cop, exchanged info. I called Dan and he walked down with Lisa to wait with me. Very nice of both of them.
Anyway, I left that night for Penn state. Spent Friday at Roi's, Saturday at Chris' and then drove home Sunday. The whole weekend my back was killing me. My back is still killing me. If it still hurts Wednesday I'm going to Patient First and seeing a doctor. I am too young to be having back problems and I most definitely surely positively do not want to be one of those people who has back issues. I want to be healthy foreverrrr.
Penn State was fun but not entirely eventful. Unfortunately and disappointingly. There's always the next time I visit, whenever that may be.
Work hasn't been very demanding, just very boring, and school isn't too hard but getting slightly more involved and I'm getting into a winter funk.
I have never been one to like sleeping next to someone in bed, or cuddling. I've always liked my own space, and preferably my own bed but lately...I miss that feeling. That perfect position where you're comfortable enough to fall asleep and still be wrapped up in someone.
Sigh
vindicated
And I am flawed
But I am cleaning up so well
I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself
So clear
If I wrote you a symphony, Just to say how much you mean to me If I told you you were beautiful Would you date me on the regular?
Sigh. I have a test tomorrow and I should be studying. I don't think it will be hard though but I should prepare regardless, right?
It's been forever since I've written on here. I guess I decided I didn't feel like sharing anymore. Which is probably healthy. I've been busy. I've been working. I work 35ish hours a week and go to school part time. I'm taking two classes: sociology and speech 101. Both simple, easy classes. I officially have a title at work. I am the Sales Operations Support Specialist. Dan is Manager, Sales Operations. I know what my title means but it doesn't really mean anything. I feel stupid saying it. At least before I could say personal assistant. Oh well. It sounds fancy. I do a lot of really random stuff. Today I got in around 9, looked up information in a database and created a spreadsheet and recorded the information I needed from the database. Then my boss boss asked me to organize "collateral" which apparently means marketing materials, and find out other necessary information for a conference next week in Georgia, I met with someone else to go over the Marketing ordering system that I'm now in charge of. How to order, track, etc. These three things took up the majority of my day. I also had lunch with Wes, who came to little italy to see me. My job is random but it's interesting and it makes me feel important. It's pretty sad that the main reason I keep this job is because it makes me feel important. Well I suppose that's not true. There's the money and secret reason number three.
It's winter time almost. Well, fall. Winter reminds me of Pat, for obvious reasons. I miss Pat. I was driving in my car yesterday, thinking about how winter reminds me of Pat, and I thought "if he were here, I think i'd want to hug him". Which may sound like a weird thought, but I think he'd understand why it isnt. I just felt like leaning into someone I trust and who I know won't hurt me. Oh well. I am sans Pat. It's all me this winter. And I'm happy. I am happier now for a longer period of time than I think I can ever remember being in my life. I am very busy but with things that are good for me, and so I feel good as a result. I don't have a lot of time to exercise but I've been eating better.
Work is exhausting and I feel like screaming "what the hell have I gotten myself into" a few dozen times a day. I feel so young and naive and self conscious at work. I feel like I'm stuck in a weird limbo where I'm living the life of an adult at work and the life of a teenager outside work. I am simultaneously extremely irresponsible and responsible. It makes my head spin sometimes. Regardless,
i love my job right now. Just not for any reason anyone probably knows.
Being single isn't hard, and I know it's what's best for me...but there are definitely times where I don't like it. The other night I was at Laur's party, drinking. I got to that point where I was coming down from being drunk and I was ready to go home. Then I started thinking about when I lived in Baltimore and I'd go to a party with Dave or Raaid and at the end, I knew I was going home to fall asleep next to someone I really wanted to be with. I wasn't going home alone or crashing on someones couch or whatever. It was just a feeling I guess, it's hard to describe, but I missed it so much right then that it made me sad. I guess that's another reason I don't drink much anymore. Sometimes I just miss it. I hate wanting something I can't have. jfdjhy
That's life.
Radio Head
We think the same things
At the same time
But we can't do anything about it.
